social human, creature of nature. a being. an animal.

for the world as we know it today, when it is not about the survival of the fittest and reproducing as a species, some evolutive human features can be a little harsh.
i watched this cute dustin hoffman video and started thinking...


i feel so moved by culture and values and free will, that i ususally find myself fighting biology.
i want reason to prevail, i dont want to overpower the weak, i want to cultivate our human traits that go towards a better world. i want to tame reckless destructive impulses. and mostly, i don't want to be a gender stereotype.
silly me.
i have not and i will never be something different than a woman.
but i brought myself to not being a mom.
 and then i will die without this big experience of biology. or love.

Hostel

Bring your ID,and tell where you come from.Yes, there is room for you. Always.
Here you can find almost everything you need.
Look, feel free to take whatever you want.
You stay for a while. Enjoy yourself.
Then you pick up your stuff and go away.
If you are around someday, stop by maybe.

Well, that is basically it:
You arrive when you want, stay as much as you want, and leave whenever you want.
Come back if you want.
This way, it feels good for everyone.
Except it doesn't.

BLIND(FOLDED)*

I dont know
If it isn't really there

Or if I don't recognize it

Or if I don't think I am fit to it anymore

Lets say it is there. Will I see it?

If I saw it, will I know what it is?

If so, will I take it?

I fear, sometimes
That the doubt comes from my whole self
Perhaps from that same old crow

That lives in the corner of my soul

Screaming

You tooooo old for that shit!

(Never More?)

Or maybe

Hopefully

It is just that time hasn't had enough time yet

To mend that broken, overbaten heart.


*for the blind motherf#cker

sunday morning

electricity was off in the building. i was feeling really tired for no reason. running my eyes through an old magazine. my cell phone kept on ringing.

my father died in a sunday morning.

as days go by...

it all keeps feeling worse. worse and worse everyday. how come?

you have got to be kidding!

rose colored????

I am dizzy

because of so many laps around the sun...
.